Yay!

Thanks new followers and everyone else following me too! I received the most page views ever yesterday! Huzzah for food!

I wasn't called in to substitute today, so I took advantage of the free time to work on some projects and go for a walk. Walking is one of the few exercises that my body tolerates currently. This is kind of shame, as I used to lift weights regularly and do very challenging hikes. However, I can still do gentle Pilates and take walks.

The pollen count was on red alert around us and I've been suffering from it! However, I took some meds and went for a stroll in one of my Gothic Lolita dresses. (Lolita fashion has nothing to do with the book. It's a fashion movement from Japan based on Victorian aesthetics and some other influences. You can read about it here.)

I also took my Nintendo 3DS with me. It counts the steps you take and rewards you with coins that you can use to play games. I love it!

EGL Fashion. You wear a petticoat under the skirt to get  a big pouf. 

I was also carrying an umbrella with me to ward off the sun and wearing sunscreen. Both of my parents have had skin cancer! They weren't into tanning and started out with naturally darker skin tone than I have. (I'm the only pale, blue eyed, natural blonde in the family). So I try to be very careful!

In fact, I even made a silly video about my umbrella use. This video, does not, however explain what got me started on using umbrellas to protect from the sun. Many years ago I spent a year studying abroad and teaching English in China. Almost all the women I met carried an umbrella on sunny days and I found it very useful, so I adopted the habit. 

What does a Gluten Free Vegan Eat Anyway?

I love food. Basic functions that we have to do like eating and sleeping might as well be done with some art and care since we HAVE to do them! I also see food in a spiritual and magical sense, like alchemy. Science tells us that what we put in our bodies becomes a part of us at the microscopic level. This is, to me, like a confirmation of magical principles. For instance, some things like high fructose corn syrup get stuck in our bodies since we can't break them down. How does this affect us health wise and spiritually? Does it encourage sluggishness because something foreign is weighing us down?

Wild rice and veggie stew.

Ok, enough metaphysical talk! I'm not here to preach or convert anyone to my way of eating. No, instead I want to answer a question that I get asked ALL THE TIME. "What do you eat?".

Well, there are a lot of things that I cannot eat. My body can't process gluten, a protein found in grains like wheat and barley. Thus most commercially prepared foods, snacks, and almost all restaurant meals are impossible for me to consume without dire consequences. I also have a separate allergy to wheat which causes an additional reaction when the gluten comes from wheat. Being very sensitive to gluten I have gotten cross contaminated multiple times. Last year I spent a hellish week in the hospital due to a series of reactions. The cafeteria did not understand what a gluten free diet was or being vegan. They sent me fatty pork and toast!

Gluten is a very sticky molecule, even at the atomic level. It's very pervasive and hard to destroy.

On top of this I choose to be vegan. I've been vegetarian for a little over 18 years, and vegan off and on. The only caveat to that was that I made a bad choice and got married when I was a freshman in college. When I got divorced I went through an identity crisis and ate meat off and on for the next year. However, my health started to go downhill soon after and I soon felt I had to go back to my old habits of being a...BUNNY!

With that out of the way you're surely still wondering WHAT DO YOU EAT!! Enough exposition, tell us!

Stocking up on sale items and fresh veggies.

The good news is that there is a lot out there that I can eat and enjoy! My choices to go out to eat are pretty limited, but I can eat at most Indian restaurants (most Indian dishes are gluten free and many restaurants will make them vegan for you), sushi places (again, vegan sushi is available and amazing), and some other Asian restaurants. In bigger cities, for example Chicago, I can even get gluten free vegan cupcakes!

Eating out: Summer rolls (rice paper with rice noodles, thai basil and tofu)

Most of the time I eat at home. Here are some examples of foods that I regularly buy:

Carbs

• Wild Rice
• Quinoa (actually a complete protein seed, but replaces cous cous and small pastas)
• Gluten Free Oatmeal (very expensive)
• Brown Rice Flour

(Special note here. I am also reactive hypoglycemic so I eat low-glycemic to counteract symptoms of anxiety, dizziness, depression, and fainting. It works amazingly well. I've done it for three months and had no panic attacks or vertigo!)

Proteins

• Nuts and nut milks (like Almond milk)
• Hemp protein (and Hemp milk)
• Peas
• My favorite beans: black, white and red (so GOTH!)
• Tofu
• Edamame (soy beans, so good)
• Mung beans (these make incredible balls cooked and then food processed)
• Mung bean noodles, black bean noodles (made from bean flour)
• Tofu noodles (same as above, sold in refrigerated area)

(If you are interested you can google "the protein myth". Most Americans get way too much protein)

Gluten free spaghetti. For cheesiness top with nutritional yeast or vegan cheese like Daiya.

Aside from those foods there is a whole world of delicious fruits and vegetables out there that I eat with relish. The only plant food I've encountered that I don't like is the turnip.

A typical week of meals for me looks like:

Breakfast : Cooked beans with flackers (Raw Flax Seed Crackers) and Hummus

                    Gluten Free Oatmeal with Almonds and, or fruit

                    Larabar (for when I am called in to sub)

                    Tofu Scramble (my husbands specialty) with stewed apples and pecans.

Lunch :       Skillet refried beans with avocado and peppers 

                   Veggie Stir-Fry

                   Raw wraps with rainbow chard or kale as the wraps 

                   Massive salad!

Snacks :    Fruit and veg smoothies

                  Dried, crunchy Seaweed

                  Sprouted nuts

                  Chocolate and So Delicious Coconut ice cream products

                  Fruit leather

                  Apples and other fresh fruit

                  Carrots and hummus (hummus is a must! flavor plain to make many dips)

Dinner :     Curry ( I make various veg curries a lot.)

                  Red or white chili (I usually put in some Quinoa)

                  Sweet Potatoes and Beans with Brown Rice Flour Noodles Mac n Cheez

                  Mung bean balls with noodles

                  Stews and soups with whatever is seasonal and low cost

                  Raw dinners like mango curry wrapped in swiss chard leaves

                  Mexican dishes with plenty of heat

                  Falafel

                  Brown Rice Flour Pizza

I made this pizza earlier this week. 

I feel like my life is excellent thanks to the food I eat. In fact, I love being a gluten free vegan. I don't mind that I have a disorder that keeps me from eating so many foods. If something acts like a poison in my body I don't view it as a food anymore. I never feel deprived or neglected because I know how ill I get from what is safe for others to eat.  

Luckily I also really love cooking. To pick up my starting point I see cooking as a magical, alchemical process. The energy I put in my food matters to me, as much as the energy the food contains when I get it. Thus, I buy local and organic. I look for sales, coupons, and am blessed to live near a grocery store with its own store brand of organic. I also buy marked down, manager's special organic produce and use it immediately or freeze it. My husband is also a vegan. He can eat gluten and does so for some of his lunches or snacks. Often he eats gluten free with me, even at restaurants so we can share food. He's truly wonderful. And if you're curious our grocery bill is about $85 a week, but it would be less if I didn't buy expensive coffee! Since we don't eat out I think we are saving money in the long run.

So that's probably more than you wanted to know, but too bad! I get asked this question so often! Sometimes I answer that I eat babies... In any case, I actually want to give a thoughtful response, but I never know how serious the person asking might be and I don't want to take up too much time answering. The bottom line is that anyone can eat the way they feel aligns with their values and still enjoy food. It takes some transitioning, having guilty pleasures (like chocolate) on hand and most importantly re-thinking what a meal should look like. Our local customs and cultures really shape us and it's easy to stay in that box and think a meal automatically equals something specific. If you want to change your diet you can. If you want to be a part-time vegan, you can! There's no harm in trying something or even trying it over and over again. Most importantly, enjoy yourself!

Yes this is a vegan gluten free cookie bar!

* Note: A gluten free vegan who doesn't have blood sugar issues can also add in a large variety of prepared foods that use white rice and potato flour, even gluten free vegan oreo style cookies exist! Polenta, potatoes, and a huge assortment of gf pastas are out there for others.

Links: 

Celiac Disease   (great starting point for going gluten-free and their message board has saved me!)

Suzie the Foodie (for non-vegans and vegans who like to adapt recipes)

The Spooky Vegan (another Goth vegan)

Vegan Black Metal Chef (this guy is amazing! hilarious videos and great recipes! also videos on youtube)

                 

Time Capsule Posting

I've decided to start going through my old pictures and posting some of them from time to time because I can honestly say that my life started having good memories instead of bad in late 2006 when I left my ex-husband.

Soon I was living in a, let's be honest, abysmal attic with my new boyfriend and now husband. However, I loved my new life. I left everything behind when I left the ex from most of my possessions that I had worked two or three jobs to earn to my car. It didn't matter. I was free. To understand that you'd have to hear a long, awful back story of the first two decades of my life. I'll spare you. Perhaps the time to tell will be someday, but not now.

This picture sums up my new life. It was taken in January 2007 and you can see how happy I am. My luck has changed for the first time ever. It's a small thing, but I won a contest. I had entered contest after contest for years and not won. (Well, chance contests, I'd won some writing awards over the years).

Night of the Living Dorks is a ridiculous German zombie movie. I speak German and so it was cool to win it. Alice Cooper was giving it away on his website. Just a few months prior Dustin had gone to see Alice Cooper and I remember him telling me what happened the next day, back when were just friends. I had really wanted to go to the concert, but was still in the process of leaving the ex and getting ready to move out for a few weeks to see how it went. The ex was nothing like me and with nothing in common I found it hard to do the things I liked.

In contrast this photo shows a happy young woman who has made some hard choices to live the life she wants. I'm surrounded by the symbols of that life: music, rebellion, art (behind me by Robin McQuay)....

Random Picture

Don't mind this picture. I just have to post it somewhere to link to it. Carry on.

St. Patricks' Day

What a rush of a weekend! We drove hours and hours to another city to visit friends and family and attend a St. Patrick's Day party. I'd had terrible back pain the last two weeks and one day of drinking whiskey off and on (not to excess) and the back pain finally went away. Isn't that wild? Two weeks of hot/cold showers, gentle pilates, massage, and even advil didn't work!

Well, despite my mixed feelings about the origins of St. Patrick's Day and how ridiculous all Americans are about being "Irish" I took the chance to have some fun.

My husband tried absinthe for the first time!

By coincidence I had my favorite drink at Starbucks, a green tea frappucino. So I guess it fit with the theme of green things...

Finally, the most fun was had with my new friend (who I met at the Emilie Autumn concert!). We made a video about all the scary people in green and then I edited it into utter ridiculousness..

How was your weekend?

A Feminist who Loves Death Metal?

Last night we drove to St. Louis to attend a two-stage metal fest that featured the bands Goatwhore and Dying Fetus. Our friend's band All Eyes Upon Adelaide also played and we love seeing them live.

To me, there is nothing like live, loud music to drown out all the sorrows and suffering in the world. Not only does my body physically benefit from the amazing pain relieving properties of throbbing amps, but I get a lot out of hanging out with metal heads. I'm going to tell you a secret. . .

Louis Benjamin Falgoust II of Goatwhore making time for fans during the sound check.

 Metal guys are among the most intelligent and sweetest guys in the world. Yes, you get the occasional jerk who's there to use his drinking as excuse to start fights in the pit, but those guys are so easy to spot.  I love talking to people at shows because if you have a dark sense of humour like I do there aren't many places to adequately express oneself.

Don't I have a conflict with my liberal feminist beliefs and metal lyrics? No. I don't. Art is a different category for me and metal bands, for the most part, are not out there perpetuating stereotypes about real women.  Instead, the type of metal I love most, death metal, is for the most part a way to relieve rage through music. Maybe that's why so many of those guys are so genuinely awesome? Rage filled, hate spewing music actually gives us an outlet to relieve feelings like those. Weirdly, music that to some people may resemble a wall of unwanted noise is a way for those of us who love it to get in touch with our emotions.

Now sitting here at home the day after with a headbanging hangover (stupid girl!) I realize that I have the time to analyze the metal subculture. At the show most of us aren't thinking along these lines. We are socializing, drinking, and having fun. Metal is a tribe that those of us who are passionate about it would and do literally bleed for. The ritualistic, shamanic connection in live metal shows is so obvious. Headbanging, moshing, even standing still alters the consciousness of each person and we are transported along with the music.

When Goatwhore played I felt this incredible energy rise from the crowd. The air was thrumming with not just the bass lines, but with a movable force that shimmered over us, sped through us, and whirled in a vortex matching the movement of the moshers behind those of us in the front row. I felt like a priestess churning a cauldron of pure spirit.

Beautiful madness.

Much like my love of Goth music and my self-identification as a Gothy type, the metal I listen to deals with themes of death, isolation, and the darker side of life that the wider culture shuns away from. Being in touch with our shadow (if you want to get Jungian) is a key to unlocking our full person.  The lyrics of the bands I truly enjoy are incredibly poetic and some political in nature.

To end this I'll leave you with a snippet of lyrics from Collapse in Eternal Worth from Goatwhore's latest album Blood for the Master.

The spirit of twilight
Reclaim this dark power
Digest the archetype
In this verse of hate

This abhorrent manner
Filthy rite of outrage
A trembling coldness
The collapse of reason

Mount the wings of death
Wield the scythe of this ancient craft
Poison heavens in the blackest flame
Rise forth from this decay

Getting Better!

Yesterday I spent all day drinking fruit smoothies, raw veggies, lots of water, and veg tofu soup. I stayed in bed under a heated blanket and also took extra B complex. Today I woke up feeling a bit better. I'm so relieved. I felt so sick yesterday.

Above you can see my Zombie brew mug full of soup. I think having things you like to look at helps how one feels about oneself.

Spring Fever, literally!

My husband is on spring break now and so am I since I have been subbing lately.

Unfortunately we both have come down with something. Yesterday we were going to go to the roller derby and had to turn around. It really crept up on us. Being sick is hard on anyone, but it hits me so hard due to my other health issues. I've actually been doing really well health wise. Being vegan this past year (from previously vegetarian) helped me a lot. I had a lot of problems healing from a series of 5 surgeries that I had and switching to vegan helped my wounds finally heal. For the past two months I've also been eating very low glycemic. I have to be gluten free due to Celiacs (ha, my immune system is wild!) and I've had an aversion to sugar for awhile (not liking the taste). Then at some point I started to have what I thought was a daily panic attack. It turned out to be caused by hypoglycemia. Two days on a low glycemic diet and I've no panic attacks in two months!

Sometime I'll write a proper food post. I do love food. :D

For now, I'm going to lay in bed and attempt to get well. I have plans for Tuesday and we do want to enjoy his time off. Wish me luck!

Happy Wedding Anniversary!

Four years ago Dustin and I got married.

I'm actually editing a video about it to put up sometime this week.

We had a nice day together and went to the library. We're saving money to go see our friend's band play with some national metal acts next week. (Goat Whore and Dying Fetus, I know, I know the names are metal, what can I say...)

For our anniversary we took a picture that would look like a band photo because we've been joking about the way band photos always look for local bands. Heck, even for some bigger bands.

I'm wearing the same shirt I made in preparation for our wedding in 2008.  Back then I was very active on the Offbeat Bride site and even got featured in one of her ads. It was very cool. We looked at our wedding as a party. We had a Christian ceremony and then a reception with 5 metal bands, vegan sushi, and lots of alcohol.

Today Dustin left work early and we got some supplies for dinner, took photos, watched a video game documentary, and went to the university library to find some cool books.

Substitute Forensics, Library Night and the Nook

Last night I received a text from my friend who coordinates substitutes and was asked if I could come in. I was more than happy to say yes. The school is a private, special education focused high school and I love the students. Classes are small (4-7 students has been the average so far) and it just feels right teaching there. Over the last year since I've been out of school I've done a lot of IT related free lancing from building websites to writing technical manuals and it's nice to go in and work with people in a setting like this.

Today I subbed for a science teacher so my classes ranged from chemistry to forensics. The students were all working on papers, however, so no crime lab investigations happened. Darn it! There was a cute, albeit skinny fellow, who stood watch over me as I guided the students in the fine art of citing sources in a science paper.

After school got out my husband had good news for me. My birthday is in February (another post about our Star Trek related experiences is forthcoming) and usually his parents give me something small. Well, they told me they were getting me something special, but the company they ordered it from delivered it to the wrong address. Finally, today it arrived. Wow. I was a floored. They got me a Nook Tablet. My birthday gifts this year were amazing.

However, I was not to use the Nook yet. Instead, I decided to walk to the university library with my husband as he had a group project that required a meeting. Ouch, my joints! The weather is slightly cold here and very damp, so not good for aches and pains. I really wanted to see him though. He works and is at school all the time and since he's my best friend it's hard being away from him so much.

Luckily the library rotunda has some comfy seating with footrests.

After what seemed like forever he was finally done and we walked home. I made us some barbecue tofu and fired up the Nook. Wow. It's amazing. I am in love with it. Books are wonderful and I believe first, and foremost in paper books, but I know this Nook is going to save me on days I'm ill. Plus, I also am a tech junkie.

I made my first e-book purchase, ever! I got Lords of Chaos about the black metal related church burnings amongst other things. The Satanic part of the title is misleading since many of the original black metal folks were devoted to the Norse Pantheon (a subject I'm fascinated with). I've wanted to read this for quite awhile, so we'll see how it is. I have so many books going right now.

Whew. Now I'm ready for bed!

Moving

Ok, so after the long, long holiday season in December of visiting many folks all over the state we started the new year with moving!! We didn't expect to move, but my allergies were getting so bad living in a small, rural town surrounded by forest that I felt I couldn't survive our last summer down here without moving. So we moved back to the city where Dustin is finishing university. We found a building surrounded by cement that is all brick and mortar, so no mold. I'm already doing so much better I can't believe it.

 

The kitchen has all black appliances and beautiful marble counters.

 There are little shelves everywhere for me to decorate.

There isn't much carpet so that helps my allergies a lot!

Sometime soon I'm going to make a video tour of the apartment and put it on my youtube channel. I loved living above a friend in our old duplex, but living in this basement apartment with so few allergens has improved my life so much.

Whoops!

Well I became very busy and neglected blogging on here, but I have a new commitment to blog something everyday in March. I have downloaded a blogger app for my phone to help me!

Here's what I've been up to:

1. Moving (which took several weeks). I love our new apartment and am so much happier now.
2. Training for a temporary online job and then doing said job. (Took forever).
3. Taking the necessary steps to get a substitute certificate and started subbing at a great private school.
4. Helping some friends with projects.
5. Making videos on youtube.

For example:

I have a youtube channel!!!  http://www.youtube.com/user/BlackBatsSociety?feature=watch

So more updates coming!